Thursday, August 27, 2015

Lakefront Property?

Where I've lived for the past eight months or so has, by all practical accounts, a really spectacular view. Take a gander for yourself:

Beauty, eh?
The house sits right on the banks of a palatial, man-made lake. On pleasant days, rays of gorgeous sunlight bounce off said lake and stream through the windows into house. Ducks and geese float aimlessly to and fro; turtles poke their heads out from the depths below looking for a bite to eat. Basically, it's the tits.

Unfortunately, you can't do a goddamn thing with this lovely lagoon but look at it. I kid you not. I have proof of this ridiculous assholery below:

These two warning signs are literally about 40 yards away from one another. Why?
When I moved in it was the dead of winter, and the first thing I recall thinking upon seeing the lake was, "Ooooh, I'd love to play some pond hockey on that." When I saw the above signs, which are just about every-goddamn-place in the development, my adventurous, fun-loving heart sank.

The only reason I can think of as to why you cannot even stick your pinky toe in these precious waters is that the property managers and/or community association doesn't want to deal with any legal ramifications if/when someone's kid happens to scrape their knee on a rock while swimming in the lake. Ugh. Double ugh.

This kind of mealymouthed bullshit makes my head spin. What have we become as a people, as a country, when you can't even skip a rock a across a placid body of water (something I'm rather good at and would love to do on a sun-dappled day) because some fucking dipshit lawyer said you can't?

Well, at least you can look at it. But you'll have sign a waiver (in triplicate!) first...

No comments:

Post a Comment